Is It Really April Already?

How can it be the 1st of April already?

I feel like time is slipping away from me!

I have a confession to make ... brace yourself ....

I have absolutely no self control. No will power. No discipline.

Whatever you want to call it, I completely lack

It.

The It that keeps you on the treadmill even though your body is screaming at you. When my body even grumbles quietly at me I think to myself, "Good try self. Way to try. But you're right, this is uncomfortable, so we will stop and go back to being lazy."

The It that helps you eat an apple instead of a cookie. I want the cookie, and since I have no It, I usually eat the cookie, and if I'm being honest I never stop at just one cookie.

The It that keeps you studying, even though it is gorgeous outside and all you want to do it go sit in the sun and read a trashy novel. I choose the sunburn and the trashy novel every time.

The It that tells you that TV is not a must in your daily schedule, and there are better ways to spend your time ... you guessed it- I am a major TV head. I knew I had a problem when I wanted to Tivo a show about middle-aged men having mid life crises ... how does that even sound like entertainment?

Because I lack It I usually fall short of my goals. I usually loose myself in trashy novels and reality shows and cookies until I don't even recognize myself any more.

But do you know what I wish? I wish I lived in a little house with a big yard. I wish I wore flip flops all year long and only wore makeup on Sundays. I wish I could fit into my skinny jeans but wore skirts because they made me feel pretty. I wish I never ate out ever. I wish I grew my own vegetables and had chickens that my kids could chase around. I wish I could curl up in a sunny spot on my bed and read classics and poetry. I wish I shopped at farmer's markets all year long and drank water instead of soda pop. I wish I curled up with my daughter for naps. I wish I drove to the beach on a whim and skipped school to go pick strawberries. I wish I sang something beautiful every day.

I wish my life was simple.

My mom used to say that when she was younger she wished she could have been a pioneer. I always thought that was crazy. Who would want to give birth in the wilderness and hike in a petticoat? Not it!

But I find myself fantasizing about my own kind of crazy time-altering life-altering switcheroo. I wish I could have lived in the 1950s and lived a simple life full of family and and free from technology. Of course life in the 1950s was far from perfect, but I long for that simplicity.

... so I am trying something new. I want to try simplifying my life and see what is left after I take away all the noise and clutter and distraction. I want to see what kind of peace and joy I can find when I am able to focus on my relationships with my family, my relationship with God, and my relationship with myself.

It is time to find my It.